Photo of Mary Lee

Tweets's Blog

  • Ah, LA.

    Current mood:depressed

    Well, I've moved to Palmdale, which is forty miles east of La La Land, on the very edge of the Mohave desert. Very nice, very job-filled. The good news is, I expect to have a new job by January first. The bad news is, I still miss someone from my past very, very much. I feel so stupid for my mistakes, but I don't know if I can fix them anymore. Someone very dear to me, however, told me recently that he and I were never meant to be, but I would still like to be his friend, a good friend with hugs and such. But it looks like it's not meant to be, unless someone visits. I hate the holidays. 
    3:53 AM

  • Aaa

    Current mood:sad

    I never knew there was anything inside me that could hurt this badly.

    I mean nothing to either of them, and I desperately want to understand why.

    The only dance I knows Ill ever truly enjoy with the only partner whos ever been able to come close to challenging me this way.

    Youre very pretty when you pretend to beg like that.

    I'm so scared that I'll never get put back together properly.

    You can't fight the tears that aren't coming, or the moment of truth in your life.

    I tried to cry, I tried to feel. I finally realized there is no point. Emotions are a weakness I cannot afford.

    I don't want to put a name to what I'm feeling, that will cheapen it, dirty it. It simply is.


    7:58 PM

  • Absofuckinglutely...

    Current mood:apathetic

    Is this love worth the sacrifices I make?
    Did I make the right decision?
    Is now even the time to be thinking about this?
    Am I going to hell because I'm a hypocrite?
    I don't even even believe in hell.
    I'm still a hypocrite.
    I'm starting to hate Portland, too.
    Do I hate anywhere that doesn't have you?
    Why do I do these things?
    Why do I want to make the wrong choice again?
    Where's the number for my dealer?
    Eight's the magic number
    Fill me up, buttercup baby
    but you let me down
    just like you always do
    what do I do?
    Alis volat propriis
    I can't fly with my own wings.

    12:04 PM

  • I *hate* this town...

    Current mood:pissed off

    For love of the lady, someone rescue me!!!!!!!! Everything is so fucked up, I was here two days and already my life is in the gutter *and NOT in a good way* GOD DAMMIT! I'm fleeing to Portladn as soon as April sends me money, Goddess knows where the hell Jess is, she won't answer anything, so I'm going to go to Ryan's and beg him to help me, not that there's really anything he can do but hide me out, but no one in Portland will recognize me, hopefully, and I can stay in the apartment all day while Ryan is at work....*sighs* Oh, adn I left the charger for my phone in Bend, so yeah. Fuck me running.  Mostly dead phone, and an almost dead me! I can't believe those fuckheads shot at me! This is what I get for trying to SHOP in the same town my asshole father lives in. BTW, my mother is missing. NO one knows where she is, and I am HYSR FUCKIGN SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    10:56 PM

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